thegreatratsby | Recent Entries

howdy! I'm rats/antimony, mid-twenties, a physics phd student, and trying to transition into using dreamwidth as my Main Social platform, though I am also pretty active on tumblr! I do fanart and fanfic, some ship stuff some not, and a lot of arts n crafts!
my primary activities on dreamwidth are my Tuesdayposts (not always on Tuesdays, but so it goes, right - under my 'weekly roundup' tag) and other life update archiving, including the gym and brain dump journals.
i'm putting some General Likes below, feel free to interact with me!!! lets chat about mothman and ttrpgs

podcasts

friends at the table, astonishing legends, shriekcast, just king things

tv style media
interview with the vampire, house of the dragon, dropout shows, the untamed, bnha, buzzfeed unsolved

authors/books
good omens, abhorsen trilogy, imperial radch, chronicles of amber, locked tomb trilogy, murderbot, MXTX novels,

webcomics
gunnerkrigg court, killsixbilliondemons, homestuck, paranatural

general
cryptids, spooky shit, bullshit aesthetic, witchcraft, space/physics, the occult

iantimony |

rodent

2025 year in review! it's been a doozy!
the good: best friend wedding, Maine/Acadia road trip, mental & physical health growth
the bad: familial death and corresponding tasks, advisor agonies grad school not even once

first, the data. I think I would like to try and make a python script to make some fun data vis plots instead of just using google sheets. because I am a nightmare. but for now here are the sheets plots.

of 52 Tuesdays I made 35 posts, so about 67%. a lot of music! a lot less podcast! lots of books, articles, and youtube!

https://iantimony.neocities.org/images/roundups/2025granular.png

reviewing last year's resolutions:
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posting this on dreamwidth/tumblr as technically a combo week because I did a really short tuesdaypost on my neocities on December 2; past few weeks have been insane (neutral), was cramming conference talk prep and then was at a conference for a week. my talk went well! good questions after, good conversations. that conference is so big that it's basically impossible to network effectively though.

next tuesday will be one last roundup post for the year and then a yearly roundup on new year's eve probably!

listening:

Big Talk (Couch): favorite tracks 'What Were You Thinking', 'Little Less Over You', 'Static and Noise'

Tears for Fears 'Songs From The Big Chair'

trueanon episodes

Rebecca Black cover of 'Fame is a Gun'
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IDK man it's bad but I am grimly determined instead of despondant now. so. I guess that's progress.

what else have I been up to...won an electric buffer/polisher in a raffle for my beloved partner. bought a cute sweater with a bird applique. best friend's cat tragically but peacefully passed away. tried and failed to see the aurora (chose the wrong day). stayed local for thanksgiving instead of nightmare travel this year (thanksgiving, conference, and holiday break all separated by one week) so I'm watching like 3 cats for people and going to hang out with two of my friends tomorrow and do crafts and cook :-) I think this is the last tuesdaypost for November as well. yikes.

listening:

reminded that Grizzly Bear exists so I relistened to Shields. still a good album. favorite song: boringly, "Yet Again"
Iconoclasts (Anna von Hausswolff): banger album. makes me feel like my teeth are falling out (positive). I don't think I can select a favorite track accurately, I guess 'Aging Young Women'? sax line on 'Struggle with The Beast' is incredible. just listen to the album it's good. I think this might be one that I buy instead of pirating/streaming.
Migrant Returned. I didn't like it initially but it is unfortunately growing on me. "Like Crazy" has been on the list this week
Weyes Blood newest single "Real Thing". I like it
more trueanon as background noise. the banter is good

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oh I'm doing soooo bad. happy first tuesdaypost in 3 weeks I am going to [redacted because it's bad to make jokes about killing yourself]

listening:

bbno$ 2025 album good

trueanon ep on the kolitz gooning article (in reading) (it's on their patreon but I got it from a friend, dm me if you are interested)

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listening:

fallow

reading:

re-read it's about the bones

more Blindsight! I'm about halfway through. it whips ass. I was expecting it to be kind of adventure/thriller-ish but it's definitely veering into horror in a way that's really fun.

watching:

for a little pre-birthday shindig I had some friends over and we watched Beetlejuice (planned) and The Dead Don't Die (unplanned)! former remains the cult classic it ever was, I haven't rewatched it since I was a kid so some of the jokes that didn't land then sure do land now. I have zero interest in watching the reboot, especially since according to wikipedia they are planning a Third One. jesus christ. anyways. latter movie was...fine......definitely not one I will ever really rewatch. the fourth wall breakage at the end made me roll my eyes back into my skull. it was fine. Tilda Swinton is really sexy

some mtg videos: Rhystic Studies The Molting House, There Are Skeletons Within Us, ; Vagabond Gallery The BODY HORROR of Phyrexia: All Will Be One
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long time no post! it's been a little rough out here I won't lie! but we persevere! I was assigned Public Talk at the big conference at the end of the year and I'm already shitting myself about it a bit, not to mention that I STILL HAVE NOT DONE. MY PRELIMS. explodes. other grad students will know what I mean when I say that trying to get anyone on your committee to do Anything, including just Answering An Email, is like pulling fucking teeth.
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music-heavy this week! also I finally said fuck it and am paying $15/mo for a non-campus gym so I don't have to fight frat bros for bench access.

listening

I recently decided to try out a tidal trial to see if I want to use that as a streaming service...so far I don't think so but in the process of looking up some of my favorite bands on there I noticed that The Dear Hunter did a remastering of Migrant in 2023 for its 10th anniversary. I.......do not think I like it LOL. it's definitely 'technically' better than the original - like, you can tell the track mixing is more smooth and balanced on this one - but I honestly prefer the 'rougher' sound of the original mixing. also they changed the order of the songs which I empathetically do Not like. overall a real uncanny valley listen for me because it is familiar and good but Not Quite Right at the same time. go listen to the original album it kicks ass still.

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did a thursdaypost but just on neocities last week 8/28 so this one kinda short! I am comboing it for dreamwidth and tumblr. finally told my advisor that I need a crumb, a mote, a smidgen of attention from her and she was very amenable thank god

listening

started trueanon episodes on falun gong. banter made in a lab to appeal specifically to NY metro area listeners. hums the cellino and barnes theme song

new jim gordon must die!

apparently Franz Ferdinand will be in my area on tour this fall so I've been jamming to their newest album to decide if I'm going to buy a ticket (I think I am, I'm really enjoying it). a little more synth-heavy than some of their past albums. synth riff in The Doctor reminds me of Ghost lol. Favorite tracks: Audacious, Hooked, Build It Up, Night or Day, Tell Me I Should Stay, The Birds. I recognize that's six tracks out of an eleven track album so I'll call Hooked my favorite I think.
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listening:

more just king things
finally listened to fleet foxes eponymous album. it's good (shocking)

reading:

fallow, some misc ao3 stuff

watching:

started rewatching iwtv with old roommate....god what a show

playing:

started playing disco elysium with a friend! I maxed out the physique and vibes scores for this run. my friend is agog that I keep contemplating choosing the Mean To Kim options.

making:

went to the indiana dunes state park with some other grad students this weekend, the fact that there were pushy lifeguards there was vexing and annoying. if I want to drown in Lake Michigan that is my god given right as an american. anyways here are the gary smokestacks

eating:

fallow but i AM doing some fun recipes soon.

ooooh baby been busy! drove back to my apartment with my mom in July, she was here for a week, then my partner flew out both to visit and also for the wedding that the ketubah was for, between all the driving back and forth from airport and also wedding stuff I simply have not had the drive in me to Post. but we're so back. technically I made a very short tuesdaypost on July 23 but I never posted it on dreamwidth or tumblr so did it really happen etc so I'm comboing it with this one a little, if you want the ketubah WIP you can see it on my neocities page
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I'm back in therapy. please clap. did my intake appointment last Friday in which I lied about which state I'm physically in atm oops but I will be in the correct one for the ... not the next one but the one after. it's telehealth so we'll see how that goes, I'm more used to having a physical Space that I go to for therapy which helps compartmentalize. within minutes of talking and confirming that I fit some adhd profile stuff she asked me about autism so that's really funny. idk I do have some sensory issues but that alone does not autism make and I don't think I have any of the other criteria tbh.

listening:

fatt perpetua! almost done with episode 3, I think I should be able to catch up by the end of July or so, I have a big road trip coming up so I will blast thru a bunch of it then probably. I loveee the vibes so far. flegg :)

reading:

An AI-generated band got 1m plays on Spotify (Lanre Bakare): thinking pensively about all the ads I get on instagram whenever I use it on my ipad for random bands. I guess I idled on one of them for too long and now it's literally all that I get. I wonder how many of them are real lol

half of me has disappeared (LuckyDiceKirby): hooting hollering etc. excellent work as always sarah. "Louis found the American Midwest dull, and had not been amused by Lestat’s suggestion they visit the zoo beside the venue together for an aftershow snack. Lestat ached for him horribly. And he had, frankly, wanted to see the polar bears, but had no interest in going alone." INCREDIBLY funny.

watching:

finally got around to contrapoints conspiracy video. it was good! didn't learn anything new but it was well formatted and I liked it

(for the curious: yes I saw her recent reddit post, yes I think it was a bad post, point iv is delusional but I also understand what she is trying to say vis-a-vis yes kamala sucked ass but there is no universe in which she would have made things worse than trump already has (and no I don't think that was the fault of protestors lmfao), yes I think she needs to get off twitter because it's rotting her brain. she is doomer (derogatory) rn. I still like her ten billion hours of video and costumes and sets and think she is largely Fine and think some of the more frothing vitriol she gets is weird.)

apothecary diaries!!! about halfway through the available episodes. my current theories: I think Jinshi is the mystery younger brother of the emperor and is actually probably Ah-Duo's child that got swapped at birth with the emperor's actual brother. they look too similar for this not to be the case imo. however whether or not Jinshi himself is actually aware of this remains to be seen, or whether he still has his dick n balls??? like he's too pretty to Not be a eunuch right. but would they do that to someone of his status. unclear.

playing:

fallow but I have been thinking a Lot about wizard101 which means my mental health is also probably not so good

making:

postcrossing cards have been sent!

art fight!!! not gonna cross post them on tumblr for now but here they are: taylan by squidshu and enuade by AxeArtifex!

slooooowly making ketubah progress. I have uhhh like two weeks left? uh oh. here is a little mockup and I am transferring the big sketch to the real paper TODAY god damn it.

eating:

homemade korean food :3 thank you boyfriend mom

snacks and onigiri from new-ish local japanese grocery. I go back to the midwest at the end of this week and I WILL miss this spot.

(no cut in this one bc it's short asf. not a lot cooking in da brain rn ngl)

dead grandma apartment cleanout complete. any of y'all in south florida and in want of some gorgeous high quality furniture? or know people there who might? because it's all gonna get junked in the next few weeks otherwise unfortunately.

listening:

fallow

reading:

greg egan website after his books were recommended to me

SCP 5031. shaped like a friend.

and finally, some of jumpingjacktrash's ao3, especially the shen jiu adopts a cat ones. rest in peace

watching:

fallow

playing:

fallow

making:

went to a collage party last Tuesday evening and made some postcards! really fun. mine are the top row and the first on the left in the middle row. I drew Sasuke for a teen on postcrossing in China who said she liked anime. I hope the teens still like Sasuke.

eating:

fallow

going back down to FL to clean out my grandma's apartment tomorrow. incidentally I am also about to get my period. this whole 6 months of dealing with grandma shit every time has lined up with my period so I would like to kermit actually

listening:

I am slooooowly getting my spotify playlists off of spotify. here is my melancholy playlist that I have the files for now

reading:

more Evil As Humans

this substack from some people who I went to high school with

I have officially abandoned "The Creative Act: A Way of Being" by Rick Rubin after about 40 pages. I am bored by it. too much Jung, very repetitive, everything I have read feels like common sense to Me so I am probably not the target audience.

watching:

idk some youtube i guess

playing:

turbo fallow

making:

way more fallow than it should be. I need to paint that kituba..............

oh I finished a new neocities page! my bookshelf! it's very bare-bones, will probably slowly link notes/goodreads reviews to everything, maybe reformat somehow, but at least I have a basic List Of Hard Copies That I Own! I still have to add the ones I have in my apartment, these are the ones in 'storage' in my childhood home :-)

eating:

made some old standby recipes for the fam and friends! first was 'pork cutlets escorial', a recipe from ? some random cookbook of my roommate's mom I think? it's very good but a little time consuming because it does involve making a brown sauce, however it makes a Lot of brown sauce and that can be frozen and used later as well so!

the brown sauce: make a roux with 1/2c butter and 8 tbsp flour. brown that bad boy. add 4c of beef broth, 1c dry white wine, 1 sliced carrot, 1 medium onion coarsely cut, 1 white part of leek quartered, 1 clove garlic, 2tbsp tomato puree, 1/2tsp dried thyme, 1 large bay leaf. I personally blended all the veg together with a little of the broth to make it smooth but follow ur heart. I also added like 2-3 extra cloves garlic and subbed a shallot+scallions for the leek, and 1tbsp tomato paste for the pureed tomatoes. and technically chicken broth. whatever. boyf brownwed the veg but idk if that's truly necessary, then mix with the roux, cook down a bit, and add salt and 1/2c Madeira (or in my case a random dry red) wine to taste. this makes a whole quart of brown sauce!

for da pork: 4 boneless pork cutlets, pat dry and smear both sides with Dijon mustard and pepper. saute until brown in 2tbsp of butter until mostly cooked, put pork on a plate, and to the pan drippings add 1tbsp flour, stir until mixed, 1c white wine, bring to boil (pan sauce!), stir consistently. then add 1/2c cream (I used normal milk lol), sliced olives (as many as your heart desires), and 3tbsp brown sauce (we used way more than 3. follow your heart). put pork back in for a few minutes til all warm thru. that's a meal baby. serve over rice or potatoes or couscous or starch of your choice. yes we made all that brown sauce for Three Tablespoons.

second thing I made was the one pot chicken meatballs with greens because there was chard for sale at the farm stand near my boyfriend's place! I used beef instead of chicken I think it tastes better that way.

same as it ever was

listening:

listening to perpetua! almost done with episode 1
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brief-ish one just to get back into the swing of things. there are many things I have forgotten in here probably.

as per previous tumblr post, many ups and downs to contribute to the tuesdaypost sabbatical: phone broke just before 14 hour road trip (bad but road trip went fine, but also means that i lost recordings of my dead grandmother), week in maine on vacation (good), grandma died (quite bad but inevitable)

listening:
Acelero (Crizin da Z.O.): favorite tracks: De Repente, Simulado (thanks beloved mutual pngjpeg)
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wow I'm actually posting this on a Tuesday. shock awe etc

listening:
finished the perpetua prelude! planning on catching up to the first few eps of perpetua proper on my road trip back home next week

rediscovering old spotify playlists in the quest to download my more favorite tunes. this playlist was made for an exchange a few years ago and it still kicks ass. search for sweethearts underneath the dirt, the prompts I gave were "southern gothic, necromancy, and werewolves", which was nailed.

reading:
on the rec of discord friend spockandawe, I've been reading "Evil as Humans", a cnovel by Nian Zhong! she sent it to me a while back and I've recently needed something light in tone/vibes to read as my bedtime non-phone activity and it's been admirably filling that gap. the translation is a little clunky but I'm very charmed by the main characters. just finished the first arc and started the second.

watching:
lots of the vintage dusties youtube account shorts - just someone really into vintage nail polish and restoring old bottles! I am enchanted by her nail shape and it did inspire me to paint my nails because I realized I have a few weeks off from things that normally make me not paint my nails (no pottery class again til July, while I'm visiting home I'll probably go to the climbing gym with friends but that's not until beginning of June at the earliest)

playing:
minecraft ...... I made four maps zoomed out as far as they will go, with home base at the center where the corners meet. I have entirely filled in two maps. many hours of mapping. I did kill my horse in this process by accident in powdered snow which was DEVASTATING but I was able to go into game logs to find my death location so at least I didn't lose all my stuff. had a real 'this is my thirteenth reason' moment with that though.

making:
I glazed two more fern majolica cups but I fucked up the white glaze application so I just dipped it all in clear and crossed my fingers to refire it, as well as some patchiness on the graduation gift I made my SO. will be picking those up tomorrow or Thursday probably.

jellyfish glaze test came out and it's: bad! that is an exaggeration but I'm glad I did a test. really gotta be more into doing quick tests to save myself aggravation.

to that end: glaze experiment on a teeny scrap ramekin! this is also majolica style because I want to see how that comes out, if it's not sharp enough I will probably do it as underglaze on greenware and then zap it with clear glaze instead. I think this will go on the inside of the matcha bowl I made for roommate because she had a vision of the matcha like pond scum ? or something. I see it I understand the vibe and I'm here for it

digging into the pile of clothing that needs minor adjustments for wearability! so sewed some bra cups for structure into the tank top I knitted (plus un-attached the straps so it's a halter top now), and tacked down an annoying flappy interior seam of a dress I got a few summers ago.

a truly astounding number of plots for my prelim thesis. this is a good thing but hoo baby design choices are hard!

started poking at ways to make my neocities more mobile-friendly. this is very very in progress.

eating:
fallow again. in that weird period of like .. well ... next week I will be leaving town for six weeks ..... so I'm trying to clean out my fridge and freezer, with more frequent eating out than normal

oh I did get farmers market eggs because they are the same price as grocery store right now, lol. they're good! definitely bigger than the grocery store ones, slightly thinner shells but prettier.

misc:
is this too long a post to not put under a cut? let me know in da comments below

listening:
Flotsam (Dirt) (Lone Mesa) - psbjpeg beloved mutual recommendation, v good

The Dip and The Dip Delivers (band, shockingly, named The Dip), favorite tracks: State Line, Sure Don't Miss You

Titanic Rising (Weyes Blood), favorite track: Andromeda, Wild Time

The World is Yours (Mostly Kosher), favorite track: Vitebsk

Sunshower (Couch), favorite track: L.A.

Toxic cover by Couch as well

bought some albums on bandcamp Friday :3 Kokoro (Sababa 5 and Yurika), Epirotika (Balkan Bump), Easy to Love (Couch), Polydans (Roosevelt), Nasgino Inage Nidayulenvi (Agalisiga), How I'd Kill (Cowboy Malfoy), Tallahassee & Sunset Tree (TMG)! so five albums and three singles, not bad for $50 (rounded up even, I paid a few extra bucks for some of them too (like rounding a $9 to $10)

reading:
fallow

watching:
minecraft videos ... falsesymmetry

playing:
insane amounts of minecraft

making:
knitting my streamline tank. in the part of the pattern that's just "repeat rows until it's the length you want"

eating:
fallow as hell

misc:
tubing mascara my new best friend tubing mascara. it comes off soooo easily.

really bad week trying to act as advocate for Dying Grandma. extremely mentally unwell.

had a cup of coffee this afternoon and now i have a headache:(

made a blood pact to finish Leviathan Wakes before end of April and by god did I do it! read half of it on the plane yesterday (am back in old people land) and finished the other half today!

back in old people land. lol. just for a few days to take care of some stuff but man the sympathetic nervous system kicked in like hell. stress.

listening:
stereolab dots and loops: elevator music on crack

reading:
A Strange Phrase Keeps Turning Up in Scientific Papers, But Why?: lollll

i FINISHED "Leviathan Wakes". it was good! I have thoughts! mostly I'm mad that Avasarala wasn't in this one, wtf, the tv show gave me false expectations. [guy who has only read Annihilation voice] getting a lot of annihilation vibes from this one. Leviathan Wakes did come first but whatever. I have other thoughts on themes of possession/control, something about how the way Miller feels weird ownership over the Idea of Julie parallels some of the larger structures...idk still percolating

watching:
was playing minecraft with friend and her boyfriend was like "can I put on Ted Lasso? have you seen it?" and I was like I have never heard of it lol so I got the pitch and then ended up watching like four episodes, deeply charmed tbh, am gonna probably watch the whole thing

watched the first episode of OG Columbo! what a delight tbh

minecraffttttt. grian and also falsesymmetry.

playing:
minecraft as usual

magic the gathering, and I won a game !!! admittedly because most of our heavy hitters were AWOL, and the one who was playing was using a less juiced deck than normal lel. mono green slay

making:
quilted the switch cover! forgot to take a picture! need to figure out how to bind it off now!

houseplants! what do we think, was my monstera rootbound

eating:
misc bullshite

-1hp -1hp -1hp

listening:
Rachmaninov album performed by David Helfgott. my specific recording is Very Special to me, it lives on my phone not my app and there's a section in one track where the CD skips because I ripped it to mp3s as a kid. also you can hear the pianist breath in sharply at certain spots and it just makes me feel some kind of way.

reading:
started reading Leviathan Wakes! made a blood pact with a friend (I watched s1 of the show with him in like 2020 lol) to read it by the end of April and. checks calendar. lol. I'm only like a chapter or two in but I feel like I can power through it pretty fast so we'll see

watching:
grian hermitcraft

playing:
dndddd

making:
working on quilting a dust cover for my switch! I made one a while ago just by sewing together rectangles and it Works but has zero structural integrity so I try again. this will be the top panel, done with quilt-as-you-go, it's a little sloppy and haphazard but I'm having fun using up scraps :)

painted some jellyfish on this plate but then noticed some chipping...and it flaked more ....... turns out there was a hunk of unmixed lime in the clay :") so the whole plate is fucked, it'll crack eventually anyways, so I went ahead and used it as a glaze test. will find out tmrw what it looks like!

knitting streamline tank pattern, frogged it and restarted because I realized I fucked up the ribbing in row 2 hahahah

eating:
made that korean beef bowl thing again that I've linked before. yum!

for the last night of passover my roommate made an INSANE tasting menu that was passover themed. it ruled. 10 courses (for each plague), lots of little easter eggs (as in secret references to pesach lol), BONE MARROW, I died, it was so so so yummy.

the courses: sangria (glass of wine 1), greens with salty miso dip, amuse-bouche of eggs castellan, carrot four ways, tomato+wine soup (glass of wine 2), matzoh meal tart/mini seder plate (goat cheese, beets, greens, honey), bone marrow with greens and garlic butter, brisket and duck fat potato cube, matzohball soup dumplings, wine and pear sorbet (glass of wine 3), egg and wine custard (glass of wine 4)

pictured: carrot four ways (pureed, baked, pickled, air fryer crisped skins) (for the four children lol), matzohmeal tart, BONE MARROW!!!, brisket and cubed potato in duck fat (these were Insane), matzohball soup dumplings (weird and not great ngl but I appreciated the creativity)

pictured: carrot four ways (pureed, baked, pickled, air fryer crisped skins) (for the four children lol), matzohmeal tart, BONE MARROW!!!, brisket and cubed potato in duck fat (these were Insane), matzohball soup dumplings (weird and not great ngl but I appreciated the creativity)

passover:)

listening

been listening to the dear hunter migrant on repeat for some reason. just been tickling my brain.

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