antimony

posting this on a friday but like, fucking whatever right. gut shabbos all

listening
ヨルシカ - あぶく (n-buna) - violence cw for the music video. really bouncy guitar, high energy, just a good listen.

still in david bowie/kino/joy division/radiohead mode

discovering car seat headrest, another band i had heard of and never really checked out. the ballad of the costa concordia; long ass song, very indie, smooth green tea.

paul's theme (men i trust): i've seen this album art somewhere before. don't remember where. elevator music ++.
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i tear open my shirt werewolf reaction image style and the shirt i'm wearing underneath it says "witch hat atelier"

listening
finally had a visit home that overlapped with one of my boyfriend's gigs!!! there was a fundraiser at my undergrad that his band played a short set in and i had a fabulous time, they sounded awesome. the set was itte (yorushika), go! (flow), zero (anna tsuchiya), and haruka kanata (asian kung fu generation)

new evanescence single!!!! holy shit !!!!!!! it's good i like it, catchy enough to hum/remember the hook of spontaneously, looking forward to new album

re-listen of red hot chili peppers 'californication', which, like last week, is another band that i never listened to a full album of until like last year. this is a good album.

some good 90s/early aughts reminders - like a stone (audioslave), all i think about now & where is my mind (pixies), everlong (foo fighters), back to the old house (the smiths), linger (the cranberries), mr jones (counting crows), dumb (nirvana) from youtube music auto-play after finishing a playlist. i finally caved and am sharing a youtube premium subscription with my boyfriend now due to being Very tired of the ads on my tv from the local republicans all trying to bite each others dicks off in primaries, and it comes with youtube music, and while i am still pretty committed to using mostly local files it is admittedly nice to have a smidge of streaming service options for things like generating random genre playlists that may have groups on it that you haven't listened to much/at all before.

reading
combo'd with watching: re-read witch hat atelier up to volume 11 and then read the new material that has come out since then. grraaaaaugh it's so good

first 7 chapters of wuthering heights, plus the intro from the edition i got from the library. it's interesting so far and even in these first few chapters it immediately becomes apparent how egregious the jacob elordi casting is lmfao

watching
combo'd with reading: watched the 2 currently released episodes of witch hat atelier with the boyf. it is extremely true to the manga and it is gorgeous and i highly recommend it.

playing
more slay the spire 2. did finally complete a solo run with the silent! only have beat it the once solo so far but that's ok

making
been doodling in my sketchbook for the first time in ages...i really want to fill it up so i can get a new one that is slightly less heavy so that i can carry it around everywhere more readily.

eating
a lot of takeout (fallow)

say hello to your new local phd candidate (i passed my preliminary exam yesterday and preparing for that is why i stopped existing)

quick c+p from neocities:

2025 year in review! it's been a doozy!
the good: best friend wedding, Maine/Acadia road trip, mental & physical health growth
the bad: familial death and corresponding tasks, advisor agonies grad school not even once

first, the data. I think I would like to try and make a python script to make some fun data vis plots instead of just using google sheets. because I am a nightmare. but for now here are the sheets plots.

of 52 Tuesdays I made 35 posts, so about 67%. a lot of music! a lot less podcast! lots of books, articles, and youtube!



reviewing last year's resolutions:
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IDK man it's bad but I am grimly determined instead of despondant now. so. I guess that's progress.

what else have I been up to...won an electric buffer/polisher in a raffle for my beloved partner. bought a cute sweater with a bird applique. best friend's cat tragically but peacefully passed away. tried and failed to see the aurora (chose the wrong day). stayed local for thanksgiving instead of nightmare travel this year (thanksgiving, conference, and holiday break all separated by one week) so I'm watching like 3 cats for people and going to hang out with two of my friends tomorrow and do crafts and cook :-) I think this is the last tuesdaypost for November as well. yikes.

listening:

• reminded that Grizzly Bear exists so I relistened to Shields. still a good album. favorite song: boringly, "Yet Again"
• Iconoclasts (Anna von Hausswolff): banger album. makes me feel like my teeth are falling out (positive). I don't think I can select a favorite track accurately, I guess 'Aging Young Women'? sax line on 'Struggle with The Beast' is incredible. just listen to the album it's good. I think this might be one that I buy instead of pirating/streaming.
• Migrant Returned. I didn't like it initially but it is unfortunately growing on me. "Like Crazy" has been on the list this week
• Weyes Blood newest single "Real Thing". I like it
• more trueanon as background noise. the banter is good
  
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listening:

fallow

reading:

re-read it's about the bones

more Blindsight! I'm about halfway through. it whips ass. I was expecting it to be kind of adventure/thriller-ish but it's definitely veering into horror in a way that's really fun.

watching:

for a little pre-birthday shindig I had some friends over and we watched Beetlejuice (planned) and The Dead Don't Die (unplanned)! former remains the cult classic it ever was, I haven't rewatched it since I was a kid so some of the jokes that didn't land then sure do land now. I have zero interest in watching the reboot, especially since according to wikipedia they are planning a Third One. jesus christ. anyways. latter movie was...fine......definitely not one I will ever really rewatch. the fourth wall breakage at the end made me roll my eyes back into my skull. it was fine. Tilda Swinton is really sexy

some mtg videos: Rhystic Studies The Molting House, There Are Skeletons Within Us, ; Vagabond Gallery The BODY HORROR of Phyrexia: All Will Be One
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music-heavy this week! also I finally said fuck it and am paying $15/mo for a non-campus gym so I don't have to fight frat bros for bench access.

listening

I recently decided to try out a tidal trial to see if I want to use that as a streaming service...so far I don't think so but in the process of looking up some of my favorite bands on there I noticed that The Dear Hunter did a remastering of Migrant in 2023 for its 10th anniversary. I.......do not think I like it LOL. it's definitely 'technically' better than the original - like, you can tell the track mixing is more smooth and balanced on this one - but I honestly prefer the 'rougher' sound of the original mixing. also they changed the order of the songs which I empathetically do Not like. overall a real uncanny valley listen for me because it is familiar and good but Not Quite Right at the same time. go listen to the original album it kicks ass still.

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listening:

more just king things
finally listened to fleet foxes eponymous album. it's good (shocking)

reading:

fallow, some misc ao3 stuff

watching:

started rewatching iwtv with old roommate....god what a show

playing:

started playing disco elysium with a friend! I maxed out the physique and vibes scores for this run. my friend is agog that I keep contemplating choosing the Mean To Kim options.

making:

went to the indiana dunes state park with some other grad students this weekend, the fact that there were pushy lifeguards there was vexing and annoying. if I want to drown in Lake Michigan that is my god given right as an american. anyways here are the gary smokestacks

eating:

fallow but i AM doing some fun recipes soon.

I'm back in therapy. please clap. did my intake appointment last Friday in which I lied about which state I'm physically in atm oops but I will be in the correct one for the ... not the next one but the one after. it's telehealth so we'll see how that goes, I'm more used to having a physical Space that I go to for therapy which helps compartmentalize. within minutes of talking and confirming that I fit some adhd profile stuff she asked me about autism so that's really funny. idk I do have some sensory issues but that alone does not autism make and I don't think I have any of the other criteria tbh.

listening:

fatt perpetua! almost done with episode 3, I think I should be able to catch up by the end of July or so, I have a big road trip coming up so I will blast thru a bunch of it then probably. I loveee the vibes so far. flegg :)

reading:

An AI-generated band got 1m plays on Spotify (Lanre Bakare): thinking pensively about all the ads I get on instagram whenever I use it on my ipad for random bands. I guess I idled on one of them for too long and now it's literally all that I get. I wonder how many of them are real lol

half of me has disappeared (LuckyDiceKirby): hooting hollering etc. excellent work as always sarah. "Louis found the American Midwest dull, and had not been amused by Lestat’s suggestion they visit the zoo beside the venue together for an aftershow snack. Lestat ached for him horribly. And he had, frankly, wanted to see the polar bears, but had no interest in going alone." INCREDIBLY funny.

watching:

finally got around to contrapoints conspiracy video. it was good! didn't learn anything new but it was well formatted and I liked it

(for the curious: yes I saw her recent reddit post, yes I think it was a bad post, point iv is delusional but I also understand what she is trying to say vis-a-vis yes kamala sucked ass but there is no universe in which she would have made things worse than trump already has (and no I don't think that was the fault of protestors lmfao), yes I think she needs to get off twitter because it's rotting her brain. she is doomer (derogatory) rn. I still like her ten billion hours of video and costumes and sets and think she is largely Fine and think some of the more frothing vitriol she gets is weird.)

apothecary diaries!!! about halfway through the available episodes. my current theories: I think Jinshi is the mystery younger brother of the emperor and is actually probably Ah-Duo's child that got swapped at birth with the emperor's actual brother. they look too similar for this not to be the case imo. however whether or not Jinshi himself is actually aware of this remains to be seen, or whether he still has his dick n balls??? like he's too pretty to Not be a eunuch right. but would they do that to someone of his status. unclear.

playing:

fallow but I have been thinking a Lot about wizard101 which means my mental health is also probably not so good

making:

postcrossing cards have been sent!

art fight!!! not gonna cross post them on tumblr for now but here they are: taylan by squidshu and enuade by AxeArtifex!

slooooowly making ketubah progress. I have uhhh like two weeks left? uh oh. here is a little mockup and I am transferring the big sketch to the real paper TODAY god damn it.

eating:

homemade korean food :3 thank you boyfriend mom

snacks and onigiri from new-ish local japanese grocery. I go back to the midwest at the end of this week and I WILL miss this spot.

(no cut in this one bc it's short asf. not a lot cooking in da brain rn ngl)

going back down to FL to clean out my grandma's apartment tomorrow. incidentally I am also about to get my period. this whole 6 months of dealing with grandma shit every time has lined up with my period so I would like to kermit actually

listening:

I am slooooowly getting my spotify playlists off of spotify. here is my melancholy playlist that I have the files for now

reading:

more Evil As Humans

this substack from some people who I went to high school with

I have officially abandoned "The Creative Act: A Way of Being" by Rick Rubin after about 40 pages. I am bored by it. too much Jung, very repetitive, everything I have read feels like common sense to Me so I am probably not the target audience.

watching:

idk some youtube i guess

playing:

turbo fallow

making:

way more fallow than it should be. I need to paint that kituba..............

oh I finished a new neocities page! my bookshelf! it's very bare-bones, will probably slowly link notes/goodreads reviews to everything, maybe reformat somehow, but at least I have a basic List Of Hard Copies That I Own! I still have to add the ones I have in my apartment, these are the ones in 'storage' in my childhood home :-)

eating:

made some old standby recipes for the fam and friends! first was 'pork cutlets escorial', a recipe from ? some random cookbook of my roommate's mom I think? it's very good but a little time consuming because it does involve making a brown sauce, however it makes a Lot of brown sauce and that can be frozen and used later as well so!

the brown sauce: make a roux with 1/2c butter and 8 tbsp flour. brown that bad boy. add 4c of beef broth, 1c dry white wine, 1 sliced carrot, 1 medium onion coarsely cut, 1 white part of leek quartered, 1 clove garlic, 2tbsp tomato puree, 1/2tsp dried thyme, 1 large bay leaf. I personally blended all the veg together with a little of the broth to make it smooth but follow ur heart. I also added like 2-3 extra cloves garlic and subbed a shallot+scallions for the leek, and 1tbsp tomato paste for the pureed tomatoes. and technically chicken broth. whatever. boyf brownwed the veg but idk if that's truly necessary, then mix with the roux, cook down a bit, and add salt and 1/2c Madeira (or in my case a random dry red) wine to taste. this makes a whole quart of brown sauce!

for da pork: 4 boneless pork cutlets, pat dry and smear both sides with Dijon mustard and pepper. saute until brown in 2tbsp of butter until mostly cooked, put pork on a plate, and to the pan drippings add 1tbsp flour, stir until mixed, 1c white wine, bring to boil (pan sauce!), stir consistently. then add 1/2c cream (I used normal milk lol), sliced olives (as many as your heart desires), and 3tbsp brown sauce (we used way more than 3. follow your heart). put pork back in for a few minutes til all warm thru. that's a meal baby. serve over rice or potatoes or couscous or starch of your choice. yes we made all that brown sauce for Three Tablespoons.

second thing I made was the one pot chicken meatballs with greens because there was chard for sale at the farm stand near my boyfriend's place! I used beef instead of chicken I think it tastes better that way.